Monthly Archives: April 2014

You Know You Have a Toddler if….

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You know you have a toddler if…

  • You came to the realization that you will never “catch up on sleep”

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  • It’s not only normal but an every day, several times a day occurrence to tell him to quit digging in his diaper (nasty).
  • You’re so tired of telling your child he can’t play with something or can’t do something that you seriously wonder why you even bother talking in the first place.

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  • You don’t worry about him being a bother in worship services, you know he is and you might as well accept it. He’s two, it’s gonna be a little while before he sits quietly for an hour – unless he’s watching one of the Rugrats movies.
  • There is a temper tantrum every time he can’t go on the “ride” at Wal-Mart because he acted up the entire time you were in the store grocery shopping. (Stay strong!)
  • He likes something, such as trucks, you will know. Oh how you will know.
  • He tests you repeatedly. For instance, I’ll say to not kick the dog and he’ll lightly tap him with his foot. I don’t know whether to laugh at his sassy behind or to put him in timeout. Usually it ends up with a timeout….with me secretly laughing at his sass.

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  • That whole affirmation about how your child is only going to eat organic, no fast food, no sweets, etc. went out the window and into the ditch. You’re just happy when he eats something period.

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  • You know how to do yoga with a toddler climbing all over you. Hey, at least it builds strength.
  • That whole thing about no T.V. went into the ditch along with the food ideology.
  • You’re happy you’re in bed before midnight. Not asleep, just in bed. (There are things to do when the kid goes to sleep.)

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  • You love when he wants to rock so you can snuggle a little bit. It really is awesome. I’ll take what I can get.

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  • You try to divert his attention by saying, “Hey, look! A truck,” when he wants to go outside and you haven’t even brushed your teeth yet.
  • He’s trying to help you type as you try to write this blog and he thinks it’s hilarious.

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  • You’re kid is afraid of the potty when like all of your friends with toddler girls are pretty much potty trained. Yes, he’s afraid of the potty. We have had our issues potty training, to say the least.

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  • He lets you know he has a booboo…when it’s pretty much all healed up. It’s not that cute after hearing about it the millionth time, hon.

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  • You can’t really too mad when he eats your doughnut, because at least he’s eating something, right? Right? Dude, that’s Mommy’s doughnut!
  • Certain annoying toys disappear into the great beyond…
  • Even the dogs look at you like, “C’mon, control your kid.”

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How do you know you have a toddler?