Allergic to Gravity

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Allergic to gravity – it’s one of the simplest ways that I can explain my type of Dysautonomia. Yep, I still have it. It’s still there like acne for me, it just won’t go away. Isn’t that nice? Well, I decided to write a list of some funny things about this illness. So, here you go.

  1. We are allergic to gravity. Seriously. Gravity hates us. It just pulls us down.
  2. We can salt it up, dudes. Yep, the more salt the better. Yet McDonald’s never seem to get that I’m serious when I ask for the salt packets. It wouldn’t be so bad if they actually salted their fries. That’s why I get the food in the first place. (I mean, c’mon. Is it really so hard to get salty french fries when I pay for them? These people.)
  3. We’re so talented we can wake up with a hangover without even drinking. It’s awesome opossum.
  4. We’re so lazy that we can fall down on the floor as soon as we get out of bed. Sleep is a priority after all. Who needs life when you can just lay on the ground?
  5. We can’t really go on roller coasters, but we at least get the sensation in the car. Say what?
  6. We usually get to have so many other medical problems with Dysautonomia. The more the merrier, right?
  7. We’re running a marathon inside our bodies all the time without the added benefits of actually running a marathon. It’s so great.
  8. We drink so much water that we might as well be mermaids….just hopefully a bit more clothed.
  9. We take so much medicine we should at least all be honorary pharmacy technicians. I’m just sayin’.
  10. We have to go through so many procedures and med trials and side effects that we should have our own comedy show. I know I get even more goofy with certain things. And dizzy. Really dizzy. Hey! How did that wall get there?
  11. Automated blood pressure machines have nothing on us. Our vitals change so quickly and are so odd that the machines won’t register them. Now that’s talent.

What other things can you think of to go on this list, my fellow heartbeaters?

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