Tag Archives: motherhood

I’m a Gray-Haired, Crazy Old Lady

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Or Little Old Woman, as my great-uncle, Bud, likes to call me. Not even just because I’m “old-fashioned” in a lot of my beliefs. I literally have gray hair. And I also need a little bit of sanity. Just a pinch. Not that much. (If a pinch was the equivalent of a ton.)

I sit here typing this to you as my son makes a trip up and down this strip from our living room to the dining table, pushing his Batmobile and humming a somewhat-engine-like-but-not-really noise. Oh, looky there. His Jake and the Neverland Pirates boat just joined in the fun. I think I like that boat a lot better, it’s so much quieter.

Our dog, Taco, was getting into things he wasn’t supposed to mess with. You can tell that by how he keeps circling around right by my leg trying to get me to pet him. The cat, Max, is just sitting on the table, looking down on us petty mortals. Aaaaaaaaaand the cat is asleep. ‘Cause he doesn’t do that every hour of the day.

Batman is playing on the T.V. Again. Even though my son isn’t watching it I can guarantee you that he would notice the millisecond I turned it off.

As I sat here thinking to myself, since my husband is away for training again, I realized that I’m such an old fart. I think mostly about recipes and cooking during the day, I think of all the stuff I have to clean, I get onto whichever  person or animal is doing a no-no, and I get overly excited about dreaming of household appliances that would just be so awesome to have.

Whelp, good thing I have the crazy in me to help balance me out. You know, the part of me that loves to watch Looney Tunes (I’m so sick of all the “everybody’s a winner” crap T.V. shows), who eats chocolate because it tastes yummy (don’t tell my cardiologist……or my husband for that matter), who gets more excited than her kid to play football, who sings just about all day (I have an awful voice and I don’t care), and who also makes some very funny (and sanity questioning) sounds to make the day not be so dull. Yes, I am that lady that makes chicken noises walking in the mall to get her toddler excited about eating some chicken. I can totally see why my husband loves me so much. I’m awesome.

Maybe it’s not that I need to cling to my sanity so much, but that I should just let the crazy be. Ultimately, I think that will actually help keep me sane 😉

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A Mother’s Patience

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There are certain times when only a mother wouldn’t flip out and go nuts when her child did something gross, like blow out poop or snot all over your face that does not belong to you. Here’s a list of things that only a mother (and some dads, too) can tolerate:

  1. Trying to kiss your son on the cheek while he eats his waffles and getting a mouthful of snot all over your lips, because your sick toddler turned his head at just the right moment. [I deserve that one, I was the one who said that the booger flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans jelly bean didn’t taste that bad. (Yes, this is a Harry Potter reference.)]
  2. Your child wakes up shortly after you laying him down from his crying. You decide to give him a little while to go back to sleep, only to discover that he’s puked up the mac ‘n’ cheese from supper all over his crib, his stuffed animals, and his body. This results in you washing everything that was near the puke, desperately wiping his crib down with lysol wipes, really trying not to puke because of the puke smell, giving him a really good bath, having to go to the store to get gatorade for him to drink since he hates pedialyte, force spooning gatorade into his mouth, and eventually going to sleep yourself in the wee hours of the morning only to have to wake up in another hour or two to make sure your hubby hears the alarm and gets off to PT at 5 A.M.
  3. The wipes being taken out of the wipe case. I had to do deep breathing for that one.
  4. Patiently trying to not lose your head while your son tosses all of his food off of his tray onto the floor. No more spaghetti noodles for you, Traitor (Yep, Daddy is still the favorite)!
  5. Trying to comfort your crying toddler by cradling him against your chest, because he decided to rear his head back and slam his eye against the coffee table. He still has a bruise right under his eye. True story.
  6. Not being disgusted by the rainbow color of poops that can blow out quite easily if diarrhea is involved, and trying to hold his legs in the air while he squirms since he doesn’t want you to wipe his butt. (Mommy wins every time! However, he gets in some good swings by his poopy butt touching the couch or floor or something.)
  7. Toys being scattered all over the living room floor, stepping on a block (that hurts like none other), and picking it all up at night when he goes to bed just to have to do it all over again the next day.
  8. Trying to cook anything while having your toddler weave in and out between your legs, because apparently he doesn’t want to go around you. You are a jungle-gym.

Ahhh, the life of a stay-at-home-mom.

 

Toddler Adventures

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My son turned a year old last month, hooray! Let’s hope the next however-many-years are not as hard as the first one! Being a mom is one of the most rewarding yet extremely frustrating things in the world, especially when you’re a stay-at-home-mom. Sadly, my husband was out in the field on our son’s birthday, but he still had a birthday cookie! Never again.

Birthday Cookie

Here’s a picture of the toy from Mom and Daddy (what he calls us)

Birthday Toy

My son has some new likes and says some new things. He is saying hi, dude, huh, uh oh, wow, ow, mom, daddy, and yeah. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and likes Jake and the Neverland Pirates. He will absolutely not allow me to feed him and screams and throws fits whenever he can’t get whatever he happens to want at that moment. Woohoo for parenthood.

He loves McDonald’s chicken nuggets

Sebastian and McDonalds

But he does not like their apple slices

Sebastian and McDonalds 2

It is safe to say that this kid LOVES kid pizza (um, yeah, that’s not going to be a thing he eats too often)

Sebastian and Pizza

I love and hate being a mom. It puts me through so much stress that I didn’t know was even imaginable. So though a certain one of my parents wasn’t really good in memory, I know there was a time I was beyond difficult to deal with. With that being said, thank you, Dad and Mom.

7 Things About Motherhood

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I was so motivated and excited to write this post tonight that I brushed my teeth, washed my face, folded laundry, made the bed (I had washed the sheets), and attempted to put away my son’s toys. I needed a toy box to put his toys in, went into his room to get one, and woke him up. I. Am. Awesome. BUT, he fell back asleep very quickly after, thankfully. I’ve had enough Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for one day. Anyways, here’s a list of random things about becoming a mom and motherhood.

  1. A very great friend and I were talking the other week about the rising prices of crayons and coloring books. She had her daughter a little over three months before I had my son. During the middle of this conversation of me being very upset that coloring books aren’t $1 like they used to be, I stopped and asked her, “Dude, did you ever think two years ago that we would be talking about the rising prices of crayons?” We had a good laugh about it, and then proceeded to talk more about those awful rising prices. (Seriously, $10 for a 10 page coloring book and 5 markers?!) Motherhood: Rising cost in crayons and coloring books DOES matter.
  2. Before I even became pregnant with my son, I always said that I would never be a mom who would have toys laying all over the floor for people to step on. Everything would be perfect and pristine in my household. Yeah, and unicorns would babysit my toddler while I took a spa day in the bathroom, and I wouldn’t have stepped on my son’s toys about 5 times this evening alone. Motherhood: It makes you a hypocrite.
  3. I just recently started going back to the gym after having surgery – in July.  (In my defense, it does take a while for those with P.O.T.S. to recover fully from surgery.) I did an upper body workout and my abs workout (I work my abs every day I workout, gotta strengthen that core, people). I was so sore that I had to do the pregnant woman roll to get off the couch. Motherhood: It teaches you how to efficiently roll off the couch.
  4. I never thought I would be at a loss for words when other people (mostly older folks) start talking to my son and I. You never know whether or not they want you to respond or see if your baby/toddler would coo something at them. It is just a very awkward process, and I am VERY glad when that is over. Motherhood: It makes you go through awkward conversations with people.
  5. Saying, “No,” to a child gets tiring. There are so many times a day where you can tell your child, “No,” before you either flip out on him, leaving him to stare blankly and confused at you, or you just let him do whatever he wants to do, only slightly modifying it for safety reasons. Motherhood: Saying, “No,” so many times will eventually wear you down.
  6. Just like my toddler can go from all smiley to hating my living guts, Mommy can still have some hormonal mood swings a certain time of the month. There is also some extra pain during that certain time of the month that is most likely the cause of those not-so-hormonal mood swings, all because a child came forth from her loins. Motherhood: It makes you still feel like you’re trying to push out a baby once a month for the rest of your fertile life.
  7. Supermoms freak me out. Either they’re taking something to keep them going, or they may be neglecting something and not realizing it, like maybe the hubby. It is a juggling act trying to make sure everyone in the family has their needs taken care of without much damage. Motherhood: It makes you crazy and a juggler. (Maybe I should join a circus.)

There are more things that I wanted to type out tonight, but my body is in automatic shut down mode since my son has been asleep for almost 2 hours. However, I will leave you with one last piece of wisdom: Motherhood changes you, mostly in the hips and thighs.

A Lament for Sleep

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I modeled this after the first two stanzas of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe (the inspiration coming from the movie The Raven). Since I used the thesaurus.com website thoroughly, there are some odd words in here. Suggestions are appreciated! I may add more soon.

A Lament for Sleep

Once upon the ninth hour bleak,

Over a droll and fanciful bassinet on the floor,

While nearly listless, quickly there came a rapping,

As if someone mildly slapping, slapping near my door.

“Tis my bairn,” I grumbled, “crib slapping near my door.

Only him and nothing more.”

 

Ah, clearly I recall, it was during the dreary fall,

And trying to fall into a sweet repose once more,

Earnestly, gladly, nearly catching those forty winks

In my sorrow for a delay of rest, sorrow for no sleep once more,

My child desiring to exercise with his playthings from yonder store,

Sleep for me nevermore.

-You can read The Raven here: http://www.houseofusher.net/raven.html

Breastmilk or Formula?

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Today is another rant post. I am so sick of the breast milk versus formula argument. People just need to chill out and let parents do whatever they think is best. If someone decides to formula feed because she just feels so awkward breastfeeding, why would people care? Or if someone decides to formula feed because of medication (like me), then you definitely shouldn’t care. If someone decides to still breastfeed their toddler until he or she is 3, you shouldn’t care (but breastfeeding a 12-year-old, in a story I read before, is just too much).

When I was pregnant with my son, I tried to get off of my medications, but I couldn’t. My body needs them to regulate my blood pressure and my heart rate. At one point in my pregnancy, the doctors were debating on whether or not taking him out at 31 or 34 weeks because his body was being affected by medication. By the grace of God, my son beat what they thought was wrong and is perfectly healthy. However, I was not going to breastfeed him and make my medications still be introduced into his body. I was literally afraid of something happening to him. So, after discussing it with my husband, we decided that formula would be the best route for him. He is healthy, he is smart, and he is way ahead of other babies his age and some babies even older than him. Other people have asked why I didn’t get breast milk from one of those storage banks. There was no way I would allow a strangers breast milk to enter my son’s body, that’s just how I am.

Honestly, I felt like a horrible mom for feeding him formula. All I ever heard while pregnant was how awful moms are who feed their babies formula, how dare I not feed him at least someone’s breast milk, or how I am basically killing my son and making him exposed to so many diseases by not breastfeeding him. I’m sorry, I think it’s more important for me to not re-introduce my medicines to his system. Breastfeeding would take so much more out of me like hydration, energy (that I couldn’t hardly spare anyways), etc. Being a mom is hard, kudos to those who breastfeed. Honestly, I probably would have breastfed, at least a while, were it not for my medicines.

But being berated and others trying to make me and other moms who formula feed feel like crap because we don’t breastfeed is uncalled for. Likewise, moms who are berated for breastfeeding is awful. The bottom line is that you don’t know why a mom chooses to breastfeed or formula feed, and you shouldn’t care. Babies still get the nutrients they need either way and are healthy either way. Yes, babies who are fed formula do get sick and have problems, but so do breastfed babies. Let’s all act like the adults we are and respect one another’s parenting, especially if there is no harm to the child or children. – End rant. (Any degrading comments will not be approved.)

9 Things I Would Have Never Thought Before Becoming a Mom

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Listed below is..well um…a list…of things I would never have thought before becoming a mom:

  1. How much an extra 5 minutes of sleep is really worth. An extra 5 minutes of sleep means the difference between waking up with birds chirping, the sun shining brightly and nicely through the curtains, and hearing pleasant music as you stretch (you know, the kind of music on Looney Tunes when someone wakes up) as opposed to barely making it to the royal swirly throne because you are stumbling all over the place trying to wake yourself up, rushing to the kitchen to get your child’s breakfast ready to get him to stop crying, and trying to be all smiley and crap when your husband gets home. There is a MAJOR difference, trust me.
  2. How awesome it would be if your baby would just forgo the temper tantrum for one day. There is only so much a person can take of her baby throwing a fit over not being able to chew on and play with cords before it becomes really old really fast.
  3. The mom look is powerful. You know that look a mom gets when you’re doing something wrong and she either hasn’t yet or can’t say something to you? Yeah, that look works even on babies (it worked on my son last night). It makes you feel like, “I am Mommy! Hear me roar!” Rawr.
  4. That it was possible to take privacy in the bathroom for granted. It’s true. I have written about this before, but there is a little more to it. Sure, you think that you can give them payback from the smell when you are making poopy and they break in, but no. Oh no. You’re like, “Smell my poopy and tremble! I said TREMBLE! Not keep coming in, examine the tub, grab my leg, and smile!”
  5. That going to a doctor’s appointment would be a vacation. It is a vacation. I hate going to the doctor, but if my husband can watch him while I go or I can put him in daycare for that amount of time, then it is a vacation. Mommy can go somewhere without a little munchkin attached to her! Let’s have a party!
  6. I never thought, in a million years, that I would make up rhymes and sing them to my son to get him to eat, to take a bath, and to go to bed. These will never be heard by another person’s ears as long as I live! I hope.
  7. How much a person would go through to keep him from crying. From carrying him around on your stomach all day and night to running the dryer without clothes in it to letting him gnaw on your hand when he was teething, you would do just about anything (within reason) to stop that crying. Especially when he’s been crying for over 3 hours without a break. (Note to self: If another baby comes along buy ear plugs so you don’t have to hear the crying of the newborn while you walk him all over your home on your belly. Don’t get cheap ones either, get some really big and nice Bose headphones, and be sure to keep the Traitor in your sights at all times. Yes, I am extremely specific, but you need to be specific when that mom brain comes on.)
  8. That Mom brain is real. No, seriously, it IS real. You can only focus on making sure everything is right for your baby that you can’t remember if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and you try to store your clothes in the pantry because it has shelves. Eh, stuff happens.
  9. That window blinds wouldn’t even be targeted by the dog, but would be by the baby. So long, intact window blinds. I knew thee well.

What are some things that you never thought you would do before becoming a mom?